I had to get fingerprints on Valentine’s Day.
As Brene Brown says, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, joy, trust, intimacy, courage – everything that brings meaning to our lives.”
Being accused of sexual assault in 2009 is the least interesting thing about me. Yet many people who don’t know me – before they meet me will hang their opinion of me based on what they read in a “news” article online.
I agree with Patrick Brown when he says “#MeToo can be a tool to lift society and I applaud that effort. False allegations however undermine that good work.” An important conversation quickly became a reckless witch hunt where journalists and bloggers pulled the trigger on whatever gossip they could access and I also agree with criminal lawyer Marie Henein when she called it a “necessary social awakening,” but cautioned that it “needs to stop being salacious.”
In speaking my truth I worry often that I won’t be heard as when there is a sea of voices, it is easy to get drowned out.
But the truth is every time I see a story in the media of someone being accused anonymously of sexual misconduct it becomes a trigger of a reminder that no one will ever see me as I am – that they will always qualify it with the way in which that story is written and then that becomes more important than who I am.
But this is where I can be honest and lead with the most courage I can. That Google article will always remind me of the cost, what lies behind me, what will always feel a little sad and a little bruised. But I hope others know I am familiar with pain and that I didn’t make it out unscathed.
What am I going to do with this situation?
- I am not going to be a victim to this situation. I could have taken the easy way out many times but I chose to be here so I am not going to feel sorry for myself.
- When I figure this out I will somehow help others to do the same.
- I love life. Nothing that ever happens to us is wasted.
We have all lost something. And yet what does it mean to keep going in the midst of that? Where do we turn to? Sometimes life doesn’t make a lot of sense. There are probably ways that we could psychoanalyze it and say that it is a coping strategy and that we create this bigger purpose to feel better. But then there’s the side of things that says, is there something beyond this here and now that we can hold onto?
Oh, and the fingerprints? Although the United States has no issue selling automatic weapons to people who don’t need them, because of being accused of sexual assault I am a threat to their national security and I am trying to obtain a travel waiver to allow me to enter the country and the fingerprints are to prove that I have never been convicted of any criminal offence.
Kevin T. Cahill is an award winning sales professional and consultant specializing in the art of managing change and achieving great results. As the founder of The Change Revolution, this international best selling author and speaker inspires men and women alike. As someone who has mastered the art of resilience and hope, Kevin’s philosophy as a clarity builder is strategic and results driven. Kevin’s passion is to equip individuals and organizations with a renewed sense of clarity and excitement, knowing that positive change will bring about positive gains. His exciting creation The Change Revolution offers a winning blueprint for navigating through change and achieving success.
Speaking inquiries email firstname.lastname@example.org or call 519-836-7989.